Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Oh Hey What's Up

The more astute among you might have noticed that there has been a suspicious lack of cards lately. I assure you that there are plenty of illegitimate reasons for this terrible occurrence. Look at all these reasons:

1. I don't have a computer - this one's pretty crucial. No computer means no MSE means no cards.
2. MSE doesn't work well if I try to run it from a flash drive - true, I can run it from the UT computers, but it looks like shit. And I don't plan on uploading shitty-looking cards.
3. I've been really busy - so it turns out that college is actually a lot of work and it's difficult to balance that with having a social life even without spending a lot of time messing around designing cards and browsing deviantart for artwork. Who knew?
4. I haven't designed any new cards lately - Zendikar is pretty fucking exciting, but it didn't get me designing like some other sets have. Then there's the whole "I've been busy" thing to consider again. And the whole "MSE doesn't work well" thing. Many things.
5. I'm a lazy-ass motherfucker - the most important reason of all.

But what of the other engineers? I don't know. Nameless One is probably doing his own thing somewhere. Draco's fucking about in UTSA and needs to get his sorry ass to big boy UT in Austin. Al went off to Arizona or something and (I have reason to believe) is getting his drank on something fierce. Shore Snapper had to go back to Grixis for what he claims were "issues of [his] family." I was under the impression that he had eaten all his siblings at birth and that his parents were hideous zombie abominations, but what do I know. The point is that THEY HAVE ALL FAILED ME.

That is actually not correct at all.

Despite all the outsourcing I do, ABW is primarily my business. And I have let sickness overtake it. The sickness of inactivity. So I'm gonna make a promise to you. And this is one of those promises that I might or might not keep depending on how I feel at the time, so you don't have to worry about it actually happening. I promise that I will put some sort of "content" on ABW in the near future. It probably won't be a card. It'll probably be a Rocket Quest. But you won't know until it happens! It's like opening a pack of Planar Chaos, right? You're hoping for a Damnation, and there's always a chance you'll get a Damnation. You're not actually going to get Damnation. You're going to get Keen Sense. You're always going to get Keen Sense. But you never know that for sure until you open the pack. There's always a chance. There's always hope. 'course there's also a chance that your pack is going to contain three Rathi Trapper for some reason (none of them foil) and that five of the eight people in your draft pod will crack Spellshift. Why the fuck would that happen? Weirdest fucking draft. Oh yeah, and there's a chance that there won't actually be a pack of Planar Chaos. It might be Coldsnap. It might be Nemesis. It might be German Pokemon cards. Or it might just be like a can of Coke or a tamale or something. It might even be nothing at all. I don't know. You don't know. That's the joy of it.

And who knows? You might open a Damnation.


  1. You're not going to open a Damnation.

  2. I am in fact faffing about, not doing my own thing. And trying to get some cards worked up that aren't complete crap that I don't want anyone to see ever. But yeah...I'll try to get some stuff up soon.

  3. See, this is why I don't buy booster packs. They turn out to be tamales or something.


Empty your mind.